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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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What to say to Ladas? Random Demons & Fish in Barrels
Do I say what I need to say? (Do I ever say what I need to say to anyone? Why should this situation be any different?) The problem--one of the problems with school is that I end up living in my head so much of the time that it becomes very, very difficult to get out of it when I need to. (How do other people do this? Because god knows they all seem to be out of their heads. Television, I imagine. A lot of hours devoted to reality television, "Friends," and all the other random fantasy crap that is the mainstay of a televisionary diet.) Fuck. Am I really attacking television? Is this a day for shooting fish in barrels or what?
So, do I say what I need to say? Do I go ahead and say it, knowing with a relatively high degree of certainty--I'm talking 95% here-- that saying it is going to make me sound majorly pathetic? And it will, darlings, it will. It will make me sound like the crawlingest girl who ever scraped along a path through the wilderness. The temptation to leave it alone is perfectly balanced by the temptation to pick at it and pick at it and pick at it until it bleeds. I'm so not in the headspace to deal with not confronting this. Nor am I in the headspace to walk away from it, knowing that I'll agonize over it. It's the end of the semester. This knowledge sustains me.
More lies:
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