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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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Asana For Letting Go
Make An Intention For Your Practice Bea says that at the beginning of every yoga session. She says it and then we carry it to our hearts and seal it there while we chant our opening invocation with our hands at our hearts in anjali mudra.
This relates to my impending departure to Japan this way: I was looking through a Tokyo guidebook this morning, underlining the places that I'd love to visit, places like the Kanda bookshops and the Studio Ghibli museum and the Basho Memorial Museum. I was underlying these things and at the back of my mind, the Depressed Demon woke up halfway and mumbled, "You don't really think you're going to see these places, do you? Do you really think you're going to be able to leave the house without someone else dragging you around?" And my heart, which had been soaring, singing, hoping, faltered a bit. The Demon continued, "I'm still here, you know. You can move around the world, but I'll still be with you. In fact, you know my sister, The Homesick Demon yet? She lives in Japan. So even if you don't know anyone there, I do." The habits of depression are difficult. Because so many depressed people have them when they're not depressed, they are able to try to get out of these habits. This is going to be a convoluted explanation for something. Okay, so when you're depressed, you can't do many things: get out of bed, get dressed, leave the house, talk to anyone. Simple things like that. But when you're not depressed, you may still not be able to do these things because you're not in the habit of doing them. The difference is that you have the energy to change these things when you're not depressed, versus when you are depressed and can't change them. So that leads many people to believe that depressed people are faking it or making themselves seem more depressed when they aren't. It's an important distinction to me, and one that it took me years to realize. I'm not depressed at the moment, but I have to tell myself this and that not being able to leave the house is a habit that I, because I am not depressed at the moment, have the energy to change. I have the will (because I am not depressed) and now all I have to find is the way. "It takes effort to be healthy."--Bea, after a particularly strenuous round of asanas I am grateful. I am grateful to and for my mother and grandmother, for nursing homes, for young men in wheelchairs. I am grateful. I am grateful for sugar free candy and cigarettes, and for Ellaine, the teacher I'll be replacing in Tokyo. I am grateful. I am grateful for birds, for hummingbirds, for Lew, for blue skies. I am grateful for this moment. I am grateful for the universe's theme of the week, which seems to be: You can't possibly control every detail. Let go. Let go and see what happens.
More lies:
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