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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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Bodhichittya
Cultivate Bodhichittya I feel scared. I feel lonely. I feel frustrated. I feel restless. I don't want to feel scared. I don't want to feel lonely. I don't want to feel frustrated. I forget that these feelings are normal. I start to feel them and then I feel afraid because I start to think that these feelings are going to last forever. They're going to end up defining me, my life, every day that I live on this planet. I start to feel depressed. I start to try to avoid feeling anything at all, including happiness. I say that I don't believe in happiness, I only believe in hard work. This is delusional. I want desperately to believe in the possibility of happiness but I am afraid to go after happiness. I date men who are not good enough for me. I eat foods that make me feel like shit. I treat people who love me like shit. I become judgmental. I become harsh. I try to build walls, fortresses against the things in life that frighten me, which is just about everything. I stop risking. I stop living. I don't want to be this way. My new, new year's resolution is to stop feeling this way. My new, new year's resolution is to embrace the possibility of happiness, to invite its presence into my life. My new, new year's resolution is to feel things, to be more gentle, to accept that some things hurt, to be more forgiving, to take down the walls that separate me from others. I accept responsibility for my life. I want to, as Camus wrote, live life down to the tears. I want to see it all. I want to feel it all. I want to connect with the energy beneath it all. I want to be human. I want to be a part of this world. I want to live with good intentions in my heart, good intentions guiding my actions. Be Grateful To Everyone. I am. I am grateful to The Enforcer, to x, to Max. I am especially grateful to Max, who subsidizes this life that I love so much, so very much. I love him very much. I am grateful for sugar, which I battle against daily. I am grateful to The Demon Who Always Does The Right Thing, for always trying to do the right thing. I am grateful. I am grateful to Andrea, to Oliver, to Elizabeth. I am grateful to Mitch. I am grateful to Kief. I am grateful to all. I am grateful. I am grateful and obedient. I am grateful and humble. I am grateful. May the universe make me ever so.
More lies:
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