|
sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
|
The Demon With The Issues
Man, do I feel fat today. Yes, I�m a chick complaining online about feeling fat. Sometimes you just can�t help being a goddamned clich�. But to be perfectly fair, I don�t often complain about feeling fat, much less being fat. And so I feel perfectly justified. And now, just to bore the hell out of everyone, I�m going to talk about: BODY ISSUES. [Cue the screams.] Hi. I�m Sublingua, and I have body issues. Hi, Sublingua. We�re everyone else on the fucking planet who owns a mirror and knows how to use it. We�re women who came of age with em-tee-vee. We read beauty magazines. We live in a society that spends four billion dollars a year on pornography-- Okay, settle the fuck down. First of all, I�m tired of the sarcasm. And second, I don�t need it. I accidentally put the skinny pants on the fat ass this morning, and I�m not feeling too happy about that. Also, I just had a very large restaurant meal and feel like I�m about to burst. Also, I recently quit smoking and the lack of sweet, sweet nicotine in my bloodstream is exacerbating the thought that my metabolism is slowing to a snail�s pace because of the lack of sweet, sweet nicotine in my bloodstream, and the subsequent slowdown is going to cause me to regain all hundred and sixty pounds that I�ve spent the last eighteen months losing. And I went to they gym today, and I had to deal with all those guys who apparently have nothing to do between sets besides check you out. And even when you can avoid their prying eyes, you only do so at the risk of seeing yourself reflected a million times in the mirrors that line any gym proper. Which I fucking hate. The mirrors I mean. They remind me of those mirrors that you�re supposed to put in bird cages that are supposed to keep the stupid birds from thinking that they�re alone, that they�re alone and lonely and that they�re never going to get out of that cage and they�re going to die in that cage, they�re going to die, but first they�re going to suffer from an overdose of existential angst because they�re only birds, caged, caged like animals and� pant, pant, pant What was I talking about? Oh, right. Body issues. So Sublingua�s Body Issues include the ubiquitous: I�m fat and ugly. And also, there�s something horribly wrong with my thighs, isn�t there? And also, my nose is too big. And also, even though I�m a 100% brown girl, aren�t I supposed to look like the apparently albino Britney Spears? And what�s wrong with me that I don�t? Argh! This is just too depressing to continue with.
More lies:
|
|||||