The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Survey Says!
Thursday, May. 16, 2002

Stolen from Posiemillay. Thief.


(warning: it's long)

I see... a bottle of Crystal Geyser natural orange flavored fizzy water, the cup that Dave threw for me that reminds me of my dearly departed Hare the snail.

I need... to deal with the red tape of being at university.

I find... that these past few days I've been laughing harder than I have in a long, long time.

I want... to get my fucking degree already.

I have... to learn not to lie just because I can.

I love... Max, sushi, sleeping, a good book, the smell of beta-mercapto-ethanol.

I hate... cleaning house, doing laundry, confrontation.

I miss... all the friends whose friendships with me ended badly.

I fear... that I will never be a success.

I feel... on the edge of depression.

I hear... the sound of the toilet running.

I smell... Max's naturally scented lotion that I rubbed on my dry skin moments ago.

I crave... the approval of others.

I wonder... why I feel so tired today.

I regret... not being able to stick to a goal.

When was the last time you... Smiled? Less than an hour ago, thinking about dinner with my friends last night.

Laughed? This morning, as I dropped Max off at work.

Cried? This morning, as I was driving through Corrales behind a school bus and the sight of the children looking both ways to cross the street made me cry.

Bought something? A steamed skim milk with a shot of caramel flavor in it and a peanut butter cookie.

Ate chocolate? Last night, in bed, while reading.

Danced? Night before last, at the No Doubt concert.

Were sarcastic? This morning, dropping Max off at work.

Kissed someone? Kissed Max this morning.

Talked to an ex? Years. Like seven or eight.

Watched your favorite movie? Max and I haven't had a television set since last August or September, so my favorite movies are a thing of the past.

Had a nightmare? Two nights ago.

Last book you read: Altars of Mexico, a gorgeous picture and essay text about home altars in rural Mexico.

Last movie you saw... On the big screen: ???Max, Soph, and I went to see--God, what was it? I think that Hobbit movie. Yes! Lord of the Rings. A while back.

And on the little screen: I don't have a little screen.

Last song you heard: Artificial Sweetener from No Doubt's Return of Saturn CD.

Last time you showered: Yesterday, before going out to dinner.

Last thing you ate: Amy's Cheese Pizza frozen pocket.

Do You... Smoke? Sometimes.

Do drugs? Yes.

Have sex? No.

Sleep with stuffed animals? Stuffed animals are the work of the devil.

Live in the moment? What are you, high?

Have a boyfriend/ girlfriend? Max.

Have a dream that keeps coming back? No, it's the hook that brings you back. My recurring dreams ended when I was a child.

Play an instrument? I used to play the cello, now I have a digeridoo, but I'm not very good at it at all.

Believe there is life on other planets? Sure, why not? But, if they're out there, they're going to be a lot meaner and more powerful than we are.

Remember your first love? Yes, it was Max. We're still together.

Still love him/her? Yep.

Read the newspaper? No. I'm a one woman media blackout.

Have any gay or lesbian friends? Of course. Who doesn't?

Believe in miracles? Yes, I do. My favorite quote from St. Augustine: "Miracles are not contrary to nature. Miracles are just contrary to what we know about nature."

Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? Sadly, yes.

Consider yourself tolerant of others? Depends. Yes, if they're sincere, earnest. No, if they're not.

Consider love a mistake? My own, yes. In general, no.

Like the taste of alcohol? I don't drink, so it's not an issue.

Have a favorite candy? I love all candy equally.

Believe in Astrology? Yes and no. Yes, if it's good and I agree. No if it's bad. I do believe in Rob Brezny's real astrology, though.

Believe in magic? No.

Believe in God? Depends on how things are going for me. Seriously, I believe in something, though it's often what I call "The Universe." This might mean, variously, nature, other people, my own mind, etc. It's all connected, folks.

Pray? No.

Go to church? Churches are against Christ and I'm not down with that.

Have any secrets? Posiemillay's answer: I have some things that some people don't know so that could be considered a secret and there are some things that no one knows so those are definitely secrets. And then there's the things I won't even tell myself.

My answer: See Posiemillay's answer.

Have any pets? Eight cats, two goldfish, a zillion snails, and a tortoise.

Talk to strangers who instant message you? I've never stooped to IM.

Wear hats? My head is literally too big for a hat.

Have any piercings? None. I'd like to have my nose pierced though.

Have any tattoos? One, the symbol for woman on my left ankle.

Hate yourself? No reason for that.

Have an obsession? Girls' breasts. Love 'em.

Collect anything? Books, dust.

Have a best friend? Max.

Wish on stars? Yes, and I also wish on eyelashes when you put them on your fingertip and blow them off.

Like your handwriting? Depends on the day.

Have any bad habits? Smoking. Lying. Procrastinating. Eating too much. Spending too much.

Care about looks? Hardly.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010