The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Halfhearted despair and a sack lunch
Friday, Mar. 22, 2002

I passed on school and work today, woke up around ten and called M. at work to chat a bit. Around noon, I crawled out of bed and ate the sack lunch I had so contientiously packed last night to take to work today so that I could avoid spending seven dollars on a vending machine lunch. (I don't know why I said that, as I have never done that, but you never know. Just the fear of it keeps me from doing it.) After I ate lunch, I looked around at my dirty, dirty house and all the unpacked boxes from when we moved last October and all the boxes of clay pieces that we bring home from the studio a couple of times a month and all the shattered clay pieces that I am using to mosaic the kitchen cabinets and then I turned on the computer and got online to read some diaries.

Then, after reading the diaries, I felt all, like, man, my diary sucks. I should update it with an entry saying how much it sucks and how boring my life is and how that's somehow indicative of some larger aspect of my personality and how I'm unsure of whether this has any significance or not. Or something.

Or maybe I'll just write about my lunch which consisted of vegetarian salami, lettuce, tomato, mustard and mayo on a Kaiser roll and a Talking Rain kiwi & strawberry flavored carbonated water. I would also have packed up some baby carrots this morning and a few pieces of fruit, had I chosen to go to school and work.

I just ditched a call from the brill Sophistica, who M. and I are supposed to go with to dinner tonight. A feast to celebrate the whole, you know, her life being a good thing right now. Bless her.

That's a good note to end on, I think.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010