The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Ninety One Things About Me
Saturday, Jan. 06, 2007

Ninety-One Things About Me

1. I used to weigh four hundred pounds.
2. Now I weigh 186 pounds.
3. I lived in Tokyo and
4. worked in Ginza.
5. I've never had sex with a man from my same ethnic background but
6. I was married to a homosexual
7. for one year.
8. I have two college degrees, one in biology, one in English.
9. I worked as a researcher in a biochemistry lab.
10. I grew up very poor
11. in a family of five.
12. We lived in three rooms.
13. I was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico, on
14. August 4, 1971.
15. I began drinking when I was thirteen,
16. smoked pot at fourteen,
17. the same year I lost my virginity.
18. I am unemployed and
19. live with my ex-husband.
20. I have had sex with eleven men,
21. two of whom have admitted to having sex with prostitutes.
22. I once dated a former stripper and prostitute.
23. I have suffered from depression since I was about twelve or thirteen years old,
24. spent seven years in therapy,
25. and about two years on antidepressants.
26. I inhereted the depression from my alcoholic, abusive, depressive father.
27. I haven't spoken to him in sixteen years.
28. I skipped a couple of grades in elementary school, and
29. graduated from high school when I was sixteen.
30. My first job out of high school was as a waitress,
31. a job I was hired for after my friend, who was a waiter at the same place, commited suicide.
32. I worked in restaurants for ten years,
33. was a waitress, manager, and cook.
34. My cats are named Groucho and Alberdine.
35. I have visited five foreign countries, but generally
36. I have little interest in travel.
37. I was once a gallery-represented ceramist,
38. worked in a communal studio, and
39. entered juried art shows.
40. I haven't worked as an artist in two years or more.
41. As an artist, I made masks of about sixty people.
42. I am not very interested in music,
43. though I played the cello for about sixteen years.
44. I have had black, blonde, brown, and purple hair.
45. I used to wear a nose ring.
46. I once attended a conference on the writings of John Milton
47. and, the same year, a conference to increase minority participation in the sciences.
48. I ride a motorcycle, a red Kawasaki Ninja.
49. I am afraid of motorcycles
50. and guns.
51. I learned how to shoot in my twenties, but
52. I have never owned a gun.
53. I have never broken a bone,
54. never had major surgery, and
55. had my wisdom teeth out when I was twenty-eight years old.
56. I have two tattoos, done five years apart.
57. One tattoo is of the feminine hand of god,
58. the other is the sign for woman.
59. I don't wear perfume.
60. I am very vain about my hair and lips.
61. I don't have, and never will have, children.
62. I don't have, and never will have, dogs.
63. My favorite food is menudo.
64. I love the name Paula.
65. I have an addictive personality, and, in the past, have been addicted to many things including sex and sugar.
66. It has often seemed that my body is a stranger to me.
67. I am more familiar with my mind.
68. I hate team sports (most sports, actually),
69. but I have tried swimming, running, yoga, weight lifting, NIA dance, Feldenkrais, and martial arts.
70. I learned how to salsa dance from a Japanese man.
71. I never wear a watch.
72. My favorite shoes are my nine-hole Doc Marten boots, which are about six years old.
73. I am the only girl in my family and
74. the middle child.
75. My IQ has been tested at 140, which I don't consider to be very high.
76. I don't like movie theaters, though
77. I like movies a lot.
78. I don't watch television.
79. My favorite color is green.
80. I am named after a once popular singer who was a favorite of my godmother.
81. I hate people who brag about themselves,
82. people who can't commit,
84. people who can't think for themselves.
85. I am not impressed by wealth.
86. I got pregnant when I was seventeen, and
87. had an abortion a month later, when I was eighteen.
88. I was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon when I was twenty four years old.
89. I love transvestites.
90. I have been keeping journals and diaries and blogs since I was eleven years old.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010