sublingua

(Be present.)

(It's past.)

(Go there now.)

From an interview conducted by Karen Kelsky with a young Japanese woman.

Akogare is defined, in the introduction to the interview, as "longing, idealization."

Interviewer: ...What do you think about Japanese men and Western women?

Mitsuko: Well, there are many different men, so you can't generalise, but in general, I think Japanese men want to lord it over women. So, they don't want a woman who is 'above' them. They feel that they can't 'win' with Westerners, that they're going to 'lose' against Western men. So they might have akogare, but laced with bitterness - the feeling of being the loser. They do have akogare, because white women are a status symbol, to have blond-haired wife is like having an expensive car and a big house. So there is akogare for white women as a status symbol, but not at all as an actual partner, or lover. If they meet one, they have no idea what to do, and they get really nervous. They have interest, but fear. And Japanese men, in general, want to take it easy, like I was saying, so they may have interest, but they think it would be a lot of work to be with a Western woman. So they're like 'Forget it. Too much work.' In my opinion, that describes their attitude. In the past Japanese women were willing to be motherly to Japanese men, but recently, Japanese women are tired of it, and won't do it anymore. So that's why men are going to Thailand to find women there.
(http://wwwsshe.murdoch.edu.au/intersections/issue4/karen.html)

Googling for Japanese attitudes towards Western women, I come across this gem. The rest of the interview is incredibly enlightening as it expresses the viewpoint of an "average" Japanese woman towards Western women.

Another site (a female JET) writing in 2003, says that she has heard that other female JETs have reported that Japanese men stutter and seem embarrassed talking to Western women. I have experienced this firsthand actually, meeting Dr. Edo, who spoke fluent English, was educated at the Brit equivalent of Harvard or Yale, and had traveled extensively throughout the West, giving lectures in English to large groups of students. The first time we met, he seemed to want to impress me with his background, but when I questioned him interestedly, he seemed suddenly not to understand a word of English. I was amused and a bit frustrated, despite recognizing it as a kind of game. I felt very powerful in the interaction, the way many very, very beautiful women must feel (I imagine) in interactions with men. I am clearly not beautiful, but something was making Edo believe that I was. Just, I'm sure, that many Japanese women kinow that they are not the pinnacle of womanhood, but are content to allow Western men (often the bottom-of-the-barrel-in-the-West types if they're out there looking for Japanese) to believe that they are.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010