sublingua

The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Demons, Difficulty, and Dinner
Monday, Apr. 18, 2005

Okay, so anyway, last night Max and I went to dinner at K & K's ("The Big House") along with K & K's extended family which includes a daughter whom they adopted when she was 17 (don't ask, it's a fabulous and fabulously complicated story), the daughter's two sisters, their mother, a granddaughter, a woman who did her residency with one of the K's and the woman's husband and their two sons, a woman who teaches at the local U with K and her husband who recently earned a PhD in mathmatics. The Big House was jumping, which made K & K's dog Lewie a bit nervous. Lewie disappeared soon after the dinner got going and I love him so I went, after a while, to take him a little treat, a dog biscuit from his stash in the drawer above the dog food container. I had to hunt a bit for Lewis, but finally I found him sitting on the porch swing looking out into the backyard with a somewhat philosophical expression on his face. He gladly accepted the biscuit, returned the offering with a single round of frisbee (normally he's inexhaustible frisbee-wise) and then returned to his perch on the porch. K told me that the kids made him nervous. (You and me both, Lewie. You and me both.)

And yet, I never stop thinking of myself as a kid. I mean, I'm still eyeing the seating arrangements at the kids' table at half the dinners I attend, and I'm always expecting the adults to point out that I'm at the wrong table when I do manage to wrangle a seat at the big table. I don't drink, so I won't be found leaning against the kitchen island in some sophisticated, wineglass-in-one-hand pose. No, I'm usually the one scarfing down the cheese and crackers like some errant, underfed journalist on some press junket for the latest Mel Gibson release. I'm just perennially out of place at any given social gathering is what I'm trying to say here.

Anyway, I did actually have a good time, and I need to think of a way to repay the K-K dimer.

And thank you, Universe, for distress, for children, for K-K, for Max, for dog biscuits, for errant journalists, for the gym, for yoga, for Be, for Japan and for my C.O.E., which will arrive shortly.

Thank you. Despite my outsider status, I am ever grateful to you for all the demons you send my way.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010

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