sublingua

The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Great to Be Great
Sunday, Feb. 20, 2005

Study At Home? Surely You Jest

So Japanese adjectives are making me nuts. Those crazy Japanese don't conjugate much, so I don't know why they picked adjectives to conjugate. I mean, why weren't they sensible, like English speakers, and pick verbs, pronouns, and everything else to conjugate? Why did they have to decide on adjectives? Crazy. So, they're making me crazy. And since I can't study at home--for whatever reason--I end up studying in coffeehouses (kissatten). Where there are other people. Annoying people. Okay, well, often (yoku) annoying people. Like tonight, for example, there was this very loud woman (takai onna no hito) in the coffeehouse. And it wasn't just that she was loud (takai), because I'm loud too, and so I hesitate to call anyone on this kind of behavior. No, she was loud and boring (takai to tsumaranai). She was loud and obnoxious. She kept saying up this running monologue about how great she was, about how she did great things like want to go to law school and want to go to medical school because she had all the prerequisistes, about how great it was to be so great, about how she was just so great that she couldn't hardly stand it and how it was so great to be great that she was awed by her own greatness and so was everyone else including her friends who were also so great and who were her friends because they, like her, drank scotch and loved good books. (Yes, she actually said at one point that she and this guy she knew were friends because they both drank scotch and loved good books. And at that point Max piped up and said, "We both like good food and good movies. That's why we're friends." Which was better than my trying to imitate her by saying things like, "Doen't my ass look great in these jeans? Everyone should have such a great ass.") But anyway...

It was kind of sad and funny and funny and sad both, and once her audience had left (two guys whose names she kept asking them to remind her of), she got really quiet. I mean, no audience, no talkie, yeah? Great.

And I'm a rotten person, I know. I mean, I know that people who talk this way are really just covering up some deep insecurities--or are they? I mean, she was really seemingly just exposing some great security...Okay, well, no, I don't know. I mean, who cares, really? Who cares why she was doing it? She was doing it, and it was annoying and it was distracting me from being made crazy by Japanese adjectives, which are conjugated. And isn't that just great that I'm studying Japanese? I mean, hardly anyone, except the Japanese, study Japanese. And doesn't that make me so much better than anyone else?

Argh.

But I am grateful to that great woman. Because she reminded me that I am a rotten person and have things to work on.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010

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