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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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Broken
Binge I'm binging today. Why? Sadness, really. Pushing down the sadness that I've been feeling lately. Eating the sadness, not feeling it. I don't want to cry, so instead I eat. But I do want to cry. I went looking for Mitch today because I wanted to cry and I know he has the power to draw it out of me and to deal with it when it comes. I didn't find him luckily. There are too many problems associated with him to have this be an easy solution to my inability to cry. Instead, I'll head to the gym and lift heavy shit and feel that. Instead, I'll get on the elliptical trainer and burn three or four hundred of the too many calories I've eaten today and try to feel it. Instead, I'll wonder why it is that I want to be stuck. I want to be stuck and want to get out of it. I'm pulled in too many different directions today. I'm pulled and pulled and pulled, so I eat and eat and eat. And it doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't make me feel anything at all. I'm sad, so I eat. I hurt, so I eat. I don't want to feel it, so I eat. I eat and eat and eat and this doesn't help anything at all. Fix It With A Hammer My heart is broken, no matter how much I want to deny it. My heart is broken, no matter how much I want it not to be. My heart is broken. I am broken. I am broken and I want to stay broken. I am broken, but I want to be fixed. I am broken, and it is only so many words. I am broken, but how do I go about fixing it?
More lies:
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