|
sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
|
Fat, Beautiful Demons
Interpreting The Dream That Is My Waking Life An Inadequate Interpretation for The Lock and Key Episode: So that lock and key thing had me for a while. And I talked with Max about it. I won't put in very many details right now, but I think that it has much to do with how I used to be and how I am now. Okay, that's vague, isn't it? So, I used to be fat. And, when I wasn't with Max, I was still able to get boys. Maybe they just didn't care, maybe they actually liked fat chicks. (I know that I like women-shaped women or what Sam calls "thick chicks.") Whatever. Their fat keys fit my fat locks. Those beautiful, fat women had fat locks too and that reminded me of this: But when I started to get skinnier, a lot more guys started to pay attention. It seemed that they started to think I was worthwhile only because I was thinner. Their thin keys fit my thin lock--or so they thought. Because me? I was always worried that they were only into me because I was thin. They thought their thin (and shallow) keys fit my lock--but my lock? It's still fat. And in many ways, I am thankful for that. I do want to find a partner who understands that I appreciate and am grateful for the fat me. Though I'm not that way anymore, I am grateful to the me that got me where I am, the Fat Sublingua who took the first steps on the journey by beginning to love herself (and me). So, I could never be with anyone who would judge me (or appreciate me less) for once having been fat. Those beautiful fat women? They were a reminder of me that these are important criteria for anyone that I am with in the future. Love me, love who I used to be, I guess is the message. That's very vague, but it is my life, it is my dream, it is my interpretation. And it makes sense to me. And This Day? A few errands. Lunch with Ladas and Max. The gym. Lots of internet time. No demons as of yet, thank god. And This List? I am grateful. I am grateful for beautiful, fat women, for locks and keys, for a fine day of soaking with The Demon Who Always Does The Right Thing. I am grateful. I am grateful for Ladas and for Max. I am grateful for Groucho, Alberdine, and Binky. I am grateful for TATA and Percy. I am grateful. I am grateful for the gym, for free weights, for Leah, who is on her way to Africa. I am grateful. I am grateful for Missy Elliott and for this day and for my life. I am grateful for demons--for the demons who manifest themselves and for the demons who stay away. I am grateful. I am grateful and this is how I show my humility. I am grateful and this is how I show my obedience. I am grateful.
More lies:
|
|||||