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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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The Daily Demons: Where and What
A Day In The Life: Woke up around four a.m., hungry had a (soy "pastrami") sandwich and some pumkin out of a can with sugar free maple syrup on it. Went back to bed. Woke up around seven, when Max called. Lay in bed for half an hour, then got up, started the coffee (set the night before) brewing. Changed out of my pajamas into my workout clothes. Made Max some take-along breakfast (black beans with salsa and plain yogurt, tortillas) and coffee. Slammed a couple of very large iced coffees. Drove Max across town to work and then came back up to the student ghetto to walk with Judi. Walked about 2 - 2 1/2 miles. Came home, had a salad and some cottage cheese and a smoke. Took a shower. Got ready for lunch with Max and Ladas. Drove back across town to a bookstore to buy Max a congradulatory end-of-semester book (a Peterson insect field guide and Sowa postcard) and a book for myself (had been looking for some Nabokov, but couldn't in the end stomach any Nabokov, so I ended up with a book of introductory writings on Buddhism called The Teachings of The Compassionate Buddha). Picked up Max and Ladas and went to lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant (mussels, rice, a couple of sips of Ladas's jackfruit shake, a spring roll with tofu). Dropped the boys off at work and went to Target. Purchased plastic wrap, paper towels, toilet paper, napkins, contact lens solution, and a replacement pair of sunglasses (I left my last pair in x's car and will likely not see them again for some time). Drove across town, home to eat the rest of my salad and have a few smokes. Came back across town to Starbucks, where I had a grande iced Americano and smoked a cigarette and read some of the teachings of Buddha. Now I am at Max's office to use the computer. I'll be leaving here in a bit to go to the gym, to have dinner, to get through this day and to start another just like it. I Have Spoken To The Following People Today, In No Particular Order: Max, Andrea, Judi, the clerk at the bookstore, the clerk at Target, the waitress at the Vietnamese restaurant, Ladas, the barrista at Starbucks, the clerk at Target, Jenny. And I pet two dogs: Cooper, Judi's English sheepdog, and Oliver, Andrea's border collie, who invited himself into my place and lay contentedly on my floor, his front paws crossed, while I ate my salad. What Else Can You Tell Us About Your Day? Well, I'm glad you asked. I spent a long time thinking about desire and listening to the desire--sexual in nature--that has pulled steadily at my center for several days now. I spent a lot of time contemplating the Aisho evening and what the morals of his stories could possibly be. I spent a lot of time thinking about drugco. I spent a lot of time thinking about how uncomfortable I am in the public eye and how it drives me crazy that men often violate my personal space with their looks and gestures. I tried to find things to be grateful for. I talked to myself as though I were someone else talking to me. I read the dying words of the Buddha. Did You Find Anything To Be Grateful For, Sublingua? Well, of course I did. I am grateful for Max and Judi and Ladas and Andrea. I am grateful for trees and coffee. I am grateful for distraction and for the recognition of distraction for what it is. I am grateful for bananas. I am grateful for air conditioning. I am grateful for the wind. I am grateful for animals. I am grateful for books. I am so grateful for books that I'd like to say it again: I am grateful for books. I am grateful for books that allow me to read the dying words of the Buddha, which were: "Decay is inherent in all compound things. You must seek your own salvation with diligence." Sounds Like You're In A Bit Of A Funk, Sublingua. I think I have the bends. I wasn't even in school this semester, but I have the inevitable end-of-semester let down feeling. I'm ready to move on, I think. But to where, to what? Where and what? To where? To what? Or to whom?
More lies:
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