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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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Demons To Spare
The Demon Who Gives You Shit Surreal sushi evening last night that ended with the Aisho-san sitting on my couch, talking and smoking cigarettes. I read him parts of my online diary, had the chance to tell him about my admiration of him, about my fondness for Fuji. And I told him at the end of the night that I would not put any of what he told me on the internet, and so beyond this little bit of bare bones information, I won't. The Demon Who Tolerates Intolerable Behavior The Demon Who Tolerates Intolerable Behavior (otherwise known as The Demon Grrlfriend) was in the studio today so that I could cast her face. I remember when The Demon Who Always Does The Right Thing first met her, she said, "She's so pretty, Sublingua." And as I had the chance to look at her face today, I realized that she is quite pretty. You might ask how I could not know this after having spent any time with her at all, but I have to say, she is quite taken with the butch role, and so plays down her inherent prettiness. As I am perfectly willing and able to appreciate butch women, I am similarly accommodatingly willing to let the prettiness pass. I miss seeing it when they want me to miss seeing it is what I'm trying to say here. But having cast her, now I can really look at her. It's not often that you get to touch people you know--even people you know for years--but casting has allowed me to do this. I can really notice how, for instance, NicI's nose turns up at the end. Or how her chin curves softly into her lower lip. I can see the beautific look that is common to The Demon Who Always Does The Right Thing's face when she is relaxed. I can hold Ama's face in my hands and notice that she has the most beautiful lips I have ever seen on anyone. NicII has a lovely smooth expanse of cheek. Mel has an amused look and not an angle to her face. I can touch and hold and cast and recast my friends, my family, my lovers, strangers. I can arrange their faces and think about how I feel about them. I can approach them with a loving sense that is sometimes difficult to sustain in face to face interactions, when too often I am trying to further some aspect of my own personality. Given time, I can suspend the cynicism, the eagerness to play the fool and have others laugh at me, I can let go of some of the ego and see them. And it's changed me. And I feel that I've been fortunate in this way to've stumbled on such a powerful tool. The Demon Who Always Has To Have The Last Word That would be me.
More lies:
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