sublingua

(Be present.)

(It's past.)

(Go there now.)

I put Elvis Costello on the CD player and drive around most of the day. I bring along All This Useless Beauty and listen to the title track and to "Poor Fractured Atlas" and to "The Other End Of The Telescope."

Do you like Elvis Costello?

I know it don't make a difference to you
But oh! it sure made a difference to me
You'll see me off in the distance I hope

I release you. I release you to better, greater things. I release you and promise to deal with making sure that my heart knows that what it wants or wanted, what it thought it needed and could get, is not possible, is going to have to be let go, is released to move on to better, greater things.

'Cos late in the evening as I sit here moping
With a bamboo needle on a shellac of Chopin
And the cast iron heart that you failed to open

And I'll drive around the city, saying goodbye to you as I say goodbye to everything, to everything about this city that I love and will never return to, to everyone that I love and care about and plan to maintain contact with, to everyone I loved and cared about and who I don't plan to maintain contact with. To everyone who loves me back, and to everyone who might have loved me back but who chose not to or who never knew that I loved them or who never knew me at all.

At the other end
At the other end of the telescope.

Good-bye, you. I'm glad we had the chance to know each other, whatever mess we made of it.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010