sublingua

The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

The Demon Who Ran
Sunday, Feb. 22, 2004

I took my usual beloved drive this morning down an old road that parallels the railroad tracks that cut through the once farmed fields that line the valley. On one side of the road, cranes, about a dozen or so, were resting at a watering hole on their migration route. (Thank you, universe, for birds--all birds, but especially this morning's birds.)

I listened to some more Outkast and some June of 44, which reminded me of this time last year. I was in "run mode" (as Sue would say) then too. (Maybe my ancestors migrated at this time of year too. I wonder what their routes were like, and near what bodies of water they stopped to rest.)

I thought about the Jornada del Muerte, which I always do when in run mode. I think about the gamble inherent in running, the choice between life and death that underlies each decision to run or to stay. I think about the people who crossed the valley, who made the decision and then staked their lives on the outcome. I think about what decisions I have staked my life on and even knowing that no one gets out alive, I wonder if I have made good choices, if I have made worthy decisions.

Though each road teaches a different lesson, underneath they all have the same lesson in common.

This is not that lesson:

"Hateful is the power, and pitiable is the life, of those who wish to be feared rather than loved."--Cornelius Nepos

This is just to remind me that I was in love then too. That's one of the reasons I wanted to run then. That's one of the reasons I want to run now.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010

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