sublingua

The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

A Day In The Life Of The Demon Who Can('t) Tell Fantasy From Reality (And Who Never Wants To Be Able To)
Monday, Feb. 02, 2004

Part One: From Here The Dream Looks Much Like Reality:

As I was sitting this morning waiting for the dreaded biochemistry lecture to begin, two women began a conversation. One woman, Asian, asked another, Spanish, whether she had read the story. The Spanish woman said, �Yes.� The Asian woman said that she hadn�t understood parts of the story and as they talked, it dawned on me that I knew (know and have loved since I was nineteen) the story they were talking about. I wrote this note at the top of my biochem handout:

Two women in biochem talking about the Borges story �The Night Face Up.� One woman not understanding what is primary to the story: which part of it was a dream, which part reality. (Am I confused about the same thing, or do I need the confusion to keep going?)

Part Two: Reality Is Made Of Dreams.

So, I�ll bet you�re wondering how the interview went.

Well, it went well. It lasted half an hour and I walked out with one woman having asked for my updated resume (which I handed her) and with her business card in my pocket. So I�m in. I know it. Tomorrow, I�ll email all three of the interviewers and if I don�t end up working for her, I�ll end up working for one of them.

Part Three: Reality Is Like A Fantasy You Can�t Control

I masturbated this morning, thinking of you, thinking of you pressing down into me, inside me, thinking of telling you how to make love to me, thinking of you telling me how to make love to you. I came this morning, while masturbating, thinking of you, thinking of how you�d feel pressing down into me, inside me, thinking of your telling me how much you wanted me, thinking of how much you want me. It was a sweet and prolonged orgasm and I am grateful to you for it.

Part Four: Reality

Woke up way too early. Breakfast and coffee. Showered, dressed. Came to campus (see Part One, above). Went back home (see Part Three, above). Interview. Met Max and finished the pre-lab for the quant lab while sitting in The Frontier. Came to the pod and ran into The Demon Who Doesn�t Matter. Email from x in re: Trouble Everyday. Wrote this entry. Going home.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010

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