sublingua

The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

The Two-Nosed Demon
Monday, Jan. 26, 2004

I have about half an hour before I have to head over to my biochemistry lecture and I just wanted to say a few things:

One, of course, is that I started my period this morning, so please disregard all angst-y posts for the last week and a half or so. Also, if I managed to insult or alienate you, I apologize. I�m pleading PMS for all events within that time period.

(What an apology, huh? Well, I�m admittedly not very good at apologizing. Sorry. I�m trying to get better. x says I need to learn to apologize to �smooth things over�you know, like all the rest of us do.� Which is pretty fucking brilliant advice if you ask me, if only because x has never once in all the nine years I�ve known him, apologized for anything. And I�m talking about a mofo who�s late to every single event I�ve ever seen him attend. And when I say that he�s late to everything, it�s not just, like, �Let�s meet for coffee,� that�s like, �The opera starts at seven, and if we�re not there on time, they won�t let us in.� But do the words, �Hey, sorry I�m late,� ever cross his lips? No. Never once. Not in nine fucking years.)

Two, I went out and bought a whole bunch of bras yesterday. I�ll be posting pics (as soon as I can get down to The Other Location to download them from the digicam onto the computer) of the first pretty bra I�ve ever owned in my entire life. Only, now I�m worried that its fitting the swollen period boobs means that it�s not going to fit the regular old non-period boobs. Sometimes I�m a bit skeptical about this whole �Hey, look, I have boobs!� thing. (Which is part of the larger skepticism picture that includes the whole �Hey, look, I�m a girl!� thing. Because sometimes I feel as though I�m really just an alien from outer space who was sent here to find out the secrets of the girly-girl and is having a lot of trouble breaking through. I am so not the alien for this mission. So what it comes down to is that either I'm an alien or I'm the world's first fledgling female-impersonating-female transvestite. Fledgling Female-Impersonating-Female Transvestite. Now there�s the name of my next all-girl punk band. If it weren't too goddamned long to fit on my indie record label, that is.)

Third, I posted my own picture(s) here (in the previous entry). I�m so tempted to run myself down, the way everyone who posts their own picture online does (and what's worse is when they don't run themselves down--when they imply that they think they're the kind of gorgeous people who vacation on the Riviera and just keep an online journal for kicks). I will say that I�m not very photogenic and consequently consider these both to be good and relatively accurate pictures of myself. (Look: It�s not like I'm posting to hotornot.com, okay? I�m not that delusional�or that much of a glutton for punishment. Because I�ve noticed that on that particular website? Fat chicks=automatic 4. Also old chicks? 3.2. Tops.) So that�s me. (God, I so wanted to write So that�s Sublingua. But how freaky is that, referring to my online self as my online self? I think grammarians call that the �third person once removed� or something. ) So that�s me sitting at my desk in my little apartment that, that day, was extraordinarily clean because of the whole, �Hey, look, I don�t smoke anymore!� craziness. It doesn�t look too much like that anymore. (And NOT because I started smoking again, you cynics, but because I�m a slob.) And there I am, sitting on the floor in my little apartment.

I also, incidentally, posted pictures of x, Magdalene and Mel, rockabillybabe. (I was going to link to them, but that would be unsporting I think. The hunt is the thing.) I also want to post a pic of The Demon Who Always Does The Right Thing, but I need to do the right thing and ask her permission first. I also have a photo of Max that I'd like to post, but he's such a super private person (when I asked, he told me he'd be The Demon Who Leaves No Trace) that I won't do it.

And finally, it�s official. I�m sick. I feel like crap warmed over. (Mmmm. Warm crap.) And I couldn�t sleep last night and I�m exhausted today and it�s only 8:25 a.m.

Let the whining begin!

P.S. I also have crazy period zit face right now, which means that I have a zit on the side of my face so big that I look in profile as though I had two noses.

And now, it's time for the nine a.m. biochemistry lecture:

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010

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