|
sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
|
The Demon Who Flatters and Begs
I was telling someone�it was x, if you must know�about last night�s Sublingua-Sophistica bout. And I love x. I love x because even though he is apparently afraid of me, he is not afraid to say to me, �The thing I�ve noticed about you is�� and then go on to tell me (in a very fair and considered manner) exactly what I did wrong and how it relates to a more overarching trait that ensures that I will continue to suffer the same kind of problem over and over. We also talked about the inevitability of wanting to skew a story so as to appear to be in the right. And we talked about the necessity of sometimes being able to walk away and cool down. And we talked about the kinds of arguments that drive x crazy�which are oddly specific. Me? I prefer to keep the things that drive me crazy confined to some relatively amorphous subjects (partly because I find it amusing to be a little bit crazy and partly because it�s habitual to keep myself at a low and motivational simmer almost all the time). We also talked about how difficult it is to move away from delivering your opinions as though they were facts. And we talked about the utility (or lack of utility) of trying to get someone to change from their opinion to yours.
So there were good lessons to be had at x�s hands this morning. We had also to spend the obligatory hour or so discussing the x�s plan to avoid ever having to do anything that he doesn�t want to�which, during school hours, manifests itself in the desire to take only classes he wants to take and to therefore ignore the classes that are mandatory for everyone to take and which he doesn�t want to take under any circumstances whatsoever. So, this semester, that means a lot of maneuvering. And since we have relatively different perspectives on how to achieve his goals, I have apparently become the maneuvering consultant. See, his way is to make some kind of logical argument to the Powers That Be. (And you should be able to discern from that statement alone that he�s never read any Kafka.) And my way? I prefer a combination of flattery and beggary. Because so often it�s not a matter of how well you argue, but how well you are liked that gets you what you want. Also, sometimes you�ve got to take a hit. And I mean by that that you�re going to run into someone�usually someone who holds a lot of power without any accountability and who is more often than not extraordinarily petty�who is just not going to be convinced to give you what you want under any circumstances. (And if flattery doesn�t work on these people, just hang it up, baby, because nothing else ever does.) Sounds pretty manipulative, doesn�t it? Well, it is, it is. But this is higher education. Home of the giant ego with no place to go. Those professors? They want to be worshipped. And if it only costs your dignity? Well, who am I to judge?
More lies:
|
|||||