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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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The Demon Who Exercises Her Heart
My god, this diary has suddenly gotten so angsty. I really must apologize for that. In my own defense, I'd have to say that it probably has to do with the whole quitting smoking scenario and a recent spate of cardio workouts as well as a chance encounter with The Little Prince. Wait, what? Yeah. So I quit smoking. And if you thought smoking were deadly, you should try quitting smoking. Because it's relatively simple. All you do it throw yourself at the ground and miss. No, wait, that's flying. That's flying that's simple. Quitting smoking? Sucks. When I see anyone smoking, my urge is split in three: The first is to take the cigarette from them and have a drag. The second is to slap the cigarette right out of their mouths in frustration. The third is to ask them, beg them to blow smoke in my face so that I might, non-smoker that I am, have the pleasure of second-hand smoking. (In fact, that last one, I used to do somewhat surreptitiously while I wasn't smoking the first time. I'd purposefully walk through that crowd of people who stand outside of buildings smoking, just so that I could get a few good, deep lungsfull (is that even a word?) of second-hand smoke.) Also? I've started to try to do more cardio at the gym. Now, I've always been deeply suspicious of cardio. Why? Well, I've been a smoker and because of that, if I turned a corner too quickly, I'd be out of breath. Also, I have always considered myself to be one of those certain kinds of gym babies who lifts weights. Now, when you lift weights--when I lift weights--you start to watch the big guys. You know the guys I'm talking about: Those really big guys. The ones that are so big that they cease to resemble human beings and instead kind of remind you of bulls. Yeah, those guys. And do you ever see those guys on a treadmill, on the elliptical trainer, on the stationary bike? Why, no. No, you don't. So, I used that little fact as an excuse not to do cardio. I wanted to be just like the big boys (with the exception of that wardrobe. I mean, spandex shorts and the stretched out muscle shirt? Yuck.) That meant building big muscles and having no sense. Right? Right. But my point was, what? That when I lift, I get crazy protein cravings afterwards. I mean, I could eat whole live chickens after a good lifting session. But when I do cardio, I get these crazy carbo cravings. I mean, I've sort of gotten used to not eating very many carbs (and I've written what seems like endlessly about the kind of diet I naturally gravitated to over the last year, which was largely protein and vegetable based), so craving carbs reminds me a lot of those days before the period when the sugar cravings come on something fierce. (Normally, I can down my little cup of fat-free, sugar-free "ice cream" and live with it. But this last PMS/period, of course, coincided with xmas, and so there was all this xmas candy around, and I thought I was going to die.) So now, with the cardio, that means changing the diet just a bit--on cardio days at least. I'll never be one of those pasta vacuums again, thank god. But I do toss in an extra slice or two of bread on cardio days. (Isn't this exciting? Aren't you glad you stuck around for this little bit of Sublingua trivia?) And The Little Prince thing? Well, I was watching My Dinner With Andre recently and The Little Prince came up rather prominently in the movie as part of a series of coincidences that one of the characters experiences. And I was talking with Sophistica the day after having seen the movie, and she brought up The Little Prince and told me about this series of coincidences it had been part of in her life. And I was amazed, and told her about the movie and its series of coincidences involving the book. And she told me her favorite part of the book and suggested that I read it. And I've had a copy on my shelf for years (some books you just have without ever reading, without ever knowing why, and that was one of those books for me), but had never picked it up. And of course, when I went to find it, I couldn't. God only knows where the copy of The Little Prince that I've been hauling around from apartment to apartment and from house to house for the last fifteen years or so has gone. So I had to go and buy another copy. Right. So, I actually just finished reading it, like, half an hour ago. And I'll bet your curious as to what I thought. Well, I'll tell you. In the next entry, okay? Because I'm going back to bed now.
More lies:
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