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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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The Demon Who Knows Right from Wrong
�Remember everything is right until it�s wrong. You�ll know when it�s wrong.� We sat on the bed. I don�t remember when I turned on the stereo or turned off the lights. Magdalene was talking�repeating her offer to exchange an edit job for a blowjob? I remember Matthew laying back. We took turns kissing him and each other. It was still awkward and drunken and heavy. Magdalene was trying to get him to agree to our giving him head. I unbuckled his belt and she and I felt him up. Then she and I were kneeling on the floor. She said, �Honey, you�re going to have to lift your ass if you want us to get your pants off.� He did. We did. We began to suck his cock. (She said as he entered her mouth, �Look, Sublingua, number twenty-eight,� referring to the number of sexual partners she�s had.) I remembered Magdalene having told me that Rebecca told her that she wouldn�t sleep with anyone under nine inches�something I appreciated�but Matthew was average. Certainly he was more than adequate, but there weren�t nine inches in my mouth. I don�t recall taking off my sweater or his taking off his shirt, but we weren�t in them after a few minutes. I sucked his nipples. I was still in my bra, and, while kissing him, he said, �Take off your bra,� so I did. Magdalene took off her sweater but not the shirt under it. We went back and forth from sucking his cock to kissing him. It was strange having no emotional connection to either of them, but still feeling jealousy when she was being kissed by him or when he was being kissed by her. We took turns sucking his cock and kissing each other. She said at one point during that, �He�s not even close to coming. Feel his balls,� but I couldn�t as she had them immediately in her mouth after saying it. She also said later that he had whispered to her to touch his genitals. Not his cock, not his dick, his genitals. So much for dirty talk. Suddenly he was holding his head in his hands again, but while laying back. Then, as soon as it had started, it was over. (Magdalene thinks that it was because he asked her to take off her shirt and she said no and, as soon as he realized he wasn�t in complete control, he put a stop to everything. I don�t know if it�s true or not, but, hearing her say it later, I felt pretty smug as she had been completely and freely willing to take off her shirt for me. ) We were all standing then, pulling on our clothes. I accidentally put on Magdalene�s sweater, and when she pointed it out, I laughed and felt very tender towards her. The light was on, but I don�t remember turning it on. Then Magdalene and I were kneeling while Matthew sat on edge of the bed. I turned off the radio. I was still too drunk to be processing conversation, but I remember Magdalene telling me that we had to stop because he said no. She asked him if all sex was sin. He said no. She asked if he thought we had sinned. I don�t remember his reply. He asked why we had done it. I don�t know if I replied or if she replied. I think she apologized. She said that he hadn�t hurt either of us. She said that she hadn�t been as into it as I was. He asked about her boyfriend. I don�t recall how she explained this to him. Then she said something else�I don�t know what�that prompted him to say vehemently, �I just want to be alone.� She asked him why he had done it, and he replied that he just got lonely sometimes. I said I was going to call David�meaning so that he could come and give Magdalene a ride home�and Matthew said, �It would be better with four of us.� I don�t remember what we talked about while we waited for Dave, but I noticed at one point that Magdalene was pulling out her school folder with her essay, and I don�t know if I said or if I just thought, �Oh, Jesus fucking Christ, you�re not going to do this, are you?� and then I looked at Matthew�s hands and he was holding a pen. He put the pen away and out came a Sweet�n�Low packet. David rang the bell. I went out and told him to wait there. I went back into the apartment and got Magdalene. I asked Matthew to stay because I wanted to talk to him. He agreed. I gave David my extra set of keys so that he could lock the gate behind them.
More lies:
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