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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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part XII: pattern, chaos, and beauty
hello, my dear, ask me how strange a day it's been. go ahead and ask. well, let me tell you a few details: first, i have a new place, right next door to the stephen, two doors down from your old place, across the compound from lea. it's a tiny little space, probably about as big as your old place, but it has a bathtub and the little compound has a lock on the gate and the landlady, has a beautiful and friendly log named oliver. it's $375 a month + utilities, and i've got my own apartment and i move in on the first of august. second, i had a long talk with lea about her breakup with ama. which was only strange because all the things we pretty much knew were going on were going on, but it was strange to have them confirmed. lea and i talked for a long time about moving on and about ama and about her anger and where it came from and how it functioned and about their relationship and it was nice to be, for a moment, not the only one on the planet blurting out my life's secrets. i've never really just sat down and spoken to lea--she and ama had an agreement between them that, in regards to mutual friends, ama had final say in who had explicit knowledge of their relationship. but now that they're broken up, and now that lea knows about my sad little life, she was very forthcoming about their life together. i started to say that i like lea very much. she really works at keeping a positive attitude, but she manages to do this without being all out of touch and unrealistic. anyway, so that was thing number two today. thing number three was a christopher robin who i ran into this a.m. at sophII's, bought him a coffee and asked if he wanted to be my new daddy. sadly, there's no room at the inn--though he is willing to orange(yellow?) card me into the gene expression seminar next semester which was closed (obviously), so that means i'll be in there with the x. should be interesting. i can work on him all semester if need be. keep it in mind that you've got a man on the inside. (and that sounds really, really strange, doesn't it?) four would have to be the strange little encounter i had at soph II's with soph, who is moving out of the little apartment at the back of the coffeehouse and into her own apartment down the street. she came in, and i was sitting on the front stoop smoking-- more in a bit as i'm just now heading for coffee with the mayflower half of the mayflower and enforcer dimer. i'm back. i was sitting on the stoop and she came up and i told her that i was parked kind of in front of her gate so that she should tell me if i needed to move. she said it was fine and kept walking. i went in a few minutes later, approached her, saying, "i heard you got a place!" and only then noticed that she was in tears. as usual. i mean, i was sympathetic the first two or three times, but when you ask what's wrong and the problem is usually, "my dad wants to take me to aruba for a fabulous vacation, boo-hoo," well, the sympathy decreases by a factor of ten at least. so today it was her new neighbor (and already this story is waaaay longer than i intended it to be) who yelled at her when her mattress fell--accidentally, obviously--from the truck and crushed three of the sunflowers in this bit of shared yard. and, yeah, i got to sit there and listen in for a bit. but mostly what was running through my head was: i gotta find another place to get bad coffee in because. ugh. the next day: had coffee and dessert with mayflower last night, who is doing well. i mean, i guess my view is all skewed because she was, the last time we hung out so often, not doing very well (i.e., enforcer was in the midst of a stephen situation). anyway, she's a little worried about the safety of the new place, so she offered me a gun. and i was like, what, was there a two for one gun sale down at ron's guns? and we laughed and then she offered me mace, which i probably will take if only to make her feel better. i did remind her that you had lived on the same street for a long time and (as far as i know) had had a minimum of problems there, and that seemed to pacify her a bit--only then she reminded me of the sophistica's ability to drop the temperature to 0 kelvin at will, which she thinks kept away any and all dangerous people. (i'm guessing though, that most of the people i encounter around there will be so saturated with alcohol that their freezing points will be significantly lowered and the sublingua ability to freeze will perhaps require some practice.) i'm a bit scattered and have that "what am i forgetting?" feeling as a constant companion ever since signing the 6 mo. lease on the new place. i'm faced now with what things to take and what to, for the moment, leave. i'd go into details, but they're more gory than juicy at the moment i think, so i'll spare you. besides, i'm covering for k at the studio today and i have to go shower and make myself appear presentable. with love-- sublingua
More lies:
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