sublingua

(Be present.)

(It's past.)

(Go there now.)

hello, sweetheart,

a short note to let you know i haven't forgotten how

to antagonize mr. yahoo:

well, broken record time is fast coming to an end. i

have not and will (apparently not) speak to the neo.

The Letter sits, unsent (but edited and edited and

edited), on my laptop, waiting to get pushed to the

bottom of the file list. i'm almost done explaining

the details of the time into my diary. and i have

actual whole hours in any given time period where my

brain is not chewing on "mulholland drive"-like

scenarios. all that remains the whole first viewing in

the classroom come august 25. we shall see.

in other news: there is no other news really. i have

yet to call lad x, but i am going to hang out with

ama and lea this evening and watch a movie and eat

nachos. we'll let ama pick the movie i'm guessing

(so wish me luck with "i'm gonna get you, sucka!").

also, i have been keeping busy collecting the pieces

for a necklace that i want to make. i went into the

bead place to look for the frankincense beads the

other day and, since they were out, wandered about a

bit, my eyes spying a strand of beautiful snake

vertebrae. since i had my heart set on frankincense, i

passed them up, but they stuck in my head as snake

vertebrae (and all bones for that matter) are wont to

do. while calling around various bead stores looking

for frankincense beads, one woman suggested that i try

quote the catholic supply shops endquote, which i did.

a woman there told me about these rosaries they had

that are made of rose petals pressed into beads. that

was it. i envisioned this whole garden of eden

necklace: the satan as serpent represented by the

snake vertebrae, the flowers (that milton so prettily

assigns to eve's care) represented by the rose petals,

and the animals by horsehair (which we have an

abundance of at the studio). i also did find a few

chunks of frankinsence which can be made into beads by

using a heated needle to push through the center of

them. (thank you, internet) so far i have the

vertebrae, the rose beads (which smell amazing), the

frankincense and the hair (my own as well as horses,

though i don't know what i represent. . .maybe the

continuing stigma of all women as being complicit in

the act? too wrought, but, you know.) tonight i'll

lay things out and see how they go together. i'm going

to string the whole thing on knotted hair. i'll let

you know how it goes, yeah?

i was supposed to have coffee with mayflower this morning,

but ended up napping instead. the woman on the other

side of the wall, bless her, kept me up all night.

well, she and her boyfriend did anyway. oh, how i've

missed apartment living. why is it that one always

feels like a pervert for listening, even when one

hasn't a choice about listening? anyway, so i got up

early, took a long walk, then came back to the

apartment and took a long nap, thereby missing coffee

with mayflower.

anyway, i'm glad your meeting went (as) well (as it

did). i'm sure it must have been massively

nerve-wracking. but it's over for the time being. just

think: only a few more years of this kind of stress

and then you can enter a new life full of different

kinds of stress. (this is my brain's version of

helping. not at all. (see what i'm up against?!))

sorry to be so brief. x has a protocol for brief

adjustment, but i don't really know it, so--

be well and know that you are loved,

sublingua

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010