The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Well I had a dream. And in it I went to a little town. And all the girls in town were named--Betty.
Thursday, May. 23, 2002

what they dreamt up for the friday five at

1. What's the last vivid dream that you remember having?

I had a dream a few nights ago about giant spiders. They were deep black orb weavers with bodies about the size of guinea pigs and appropriately sized legs. They played dead if I got near them, but when I picked them up, they came to life.

2. Do you have any recurring dreams?

I have had recurring dreams in the past. One of my favorites always began differently each time--it was only the end of the dream that was the same. There was always this moment, heading towards the familiar part where I would think, oh, here we go.

I also have recurring motifs in dreams. Underground bathrooms are a biggie.

3. What's the scariest nightmare you've ever had?

Once I had a dream that I "woke up into"--as in, became conscious of my actions already inside the dream--and I was carrying a heavy black garbage bag out to the garbage can which was already in the street awaiting pickup. The garbage bag was really heavy and it bumped against my leg in a very solid way. Wondering what was in it, I put it down, leaned over and untied it. The bag was filled with assorted parts of a dark haired man. I could see the top of his head and what looked like a thigh, all dismembered. I kind of went, "oh, yeah." and then carried the bag out to the garbage can. That wasn't the nightmare part. The nightmare part came when, back inside the house, I was looking out the kitchen window, watching the garbage can until the garbage truck came to pick it up. I heard the tinny sound of garbage cans being knocked over. Looking up the street, I could see these kids having kid fun by kicking over garbage cans. I thought, this is how they're going to catch me, and woke up.

I often find that the dreams that wake me aren't nightmares proper, rather they tend to be dreams in which I am placed in an uncomfortable situation and can't think of a way out so I wake myself up.

4. Have you ever written your dreams down or considered it? Why or why not?

I have done this actually. I used to do it kind of like a stage manager's script with commentary and interpretation written all around the dream proper.

5. Have you ever had a lucid dream? What did you do in it? Because I am always conscious in my dreams--as in, I always know that I am dreaming, I always thought that lucid dreaming meant that you could control every aspect of a dream, like, looking up at the sky, you could change the color, you could make the people in your dreams do what you wanted always. In one dream, I thought, oh, I should make this into a "lucid" dream. I couldn't get any other person in the dream to do what I wanted them to do, but at one point I walked up to a mirror and succeeded in changing the length of my arms, my height, my breast size, and then I changed myself from a woman to a man and back again. (All about the "You can't change others, you can only change yourself," I think.)

I also often sleep and wake up in my dreams, which isn't something that I've heard a lot of people do.

If you wants a good dream story, read Kurahashi Yumiko's Spring Night's Dream from her collection called Woman with the Flying Head.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010