The heart with a mind of its own.

(Be present.)

The mind with a heart of its own.

(It's past.)

The dream that is your waking life.

(Go there now.)

Dreaming in color
Sunday, Apr. 07, 2002

Wow. Okay.

So I've been up for a little over an hour now, and I've had breakfast, and all the assorted animals have been fed. The cats had some canned food (the outdoor ones, at least) and some dry food (outdoor and indoor kitties). The fish had a few pinches of floaty fish pellets. Percy got a little wormy salad made with assorted greens, cucumber, tomato, strawberry, beets, mushroom, squash, an earthworm and a few mealworms. Quite a salad!

M. and I had Amy's pockets for breakfast (his was a tamale pocket, mine was a cheese pizza pocket).

And then, of course, there was the inevitable downloading of the morning's pictures into a new file. (We're keeping a file for each day so as to avoid the confusion of something or another.)

I've been taking the antidepressant in the a.m. these days, and I've noticed that my dreams have returned. Last night I had a dream about my brother and sis-in-law and niece (we were supposed to drive to Mexico, but ended up losing each other, so I came home (to my parent's house) with my niece to sleep on the couch and use their hot tub. My mother was in the dream, cooking, and some woman (~17, who reminded me of a blond, ditzy, sexy waitress I used to work with) who had a party in my parent's guesthouse and was told the next morning by my father (not my real father, but a tall, thin, darkhaired man) that she had to throw her "guests" out.

In another part of the dream, I was shopping in a clothing store where people knew my name. I also ran into Dena who was working at a nearby store.

In a third (and the final part), I was in a hospital where Raquel was doing research on an upper floor and where AIDS patients and prisoners were also housed. There was a carnival going on--a kind of gay and lesbian oriented party, and I was allowed into the hospital when I told the guard checking ID's that I was a counselor for transgendered patients. In the hospital, I wandered around the carnival for a bit, and then I got onto an elevator with a nurse. The elevator stopped and Raquel got on. I asked her if she was there for the carnival or if she had been working. She said, in that quietly insistent way she has of speaking, that she had been working. There was another person on the elevator that I vaguely remember knowing. The nurse was in one of those old fashioned nurse uniforms, with the paper hat and everything. She started telling me a story about earlier having helped a doctor "finish a suicide" that the patient had started. She had held the patient's arm while the doctor cut it open/off, and coaxed the drug the patient had injected into the rest of his system. As I looked into her big blue eyes (the eyes of Hillary, my judge) I couldn't help but get the feeling that she was not entirely there.

retreat or surrender

More lies:
Waking Sleeping Demons II - Sunday, Oct. 30, 2011
Waking Sleeping Demons - Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011
time - Friday, May. 20, 2011
- - Wednesday, Oct. 06, 2010
The Return - Tuesday, Oct. 05, 2010