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sublingua | |||||
| The heart with a mind of its own.(Be present.) | The mind with a heart of its own.(It's past.) | The dream that is your waking life.(Go there now.) | |||
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A New Life and Happy
It has been a very long time since I wrote in this diary, and a lot has happened. I have a new job in a new lab--but wait, it's not really a job like the last one, not a work-study job, but rather I'm working in a lab and doing independent research because I got a fellowship with a program that is giving me a stipend, paying my tuition, paying for me to attend and present at conferences, giving the lab money for supplies that I need for my research, paying for me to take the GRE's, etc., etc. So, I've found a placement in a lab that I just love. I will write more about it later. I also turned 30 just thirteen days ago. We went to Durango on my birthday, and I made a mask on that day, so that fifty years from now I can look back at myself and think, "And I was complaining about wrinkles then?" Actually, it's not the wrinkles that bother me, but the combination of wrinkles and zits. I had always thought that one would end long before the other began, and that I would have this grace period--a period of time in which I would have skin like a supermodel--no zits, wrinkles, pores, moles, scars. Pure plastic, baby. Turns out that that's not going to be the case. Sad, but true. Also, I've started taking antidepressants, which have changed my life. That is very sad in and of itself, and I would be sad about it, but a daily dose of Zoloft turns that frown upside-down. I can't help but smile. I literally am drugged up and happy. Okay, well, not happy, but the drug keeps me from drowning in it, keeps me from having to think every minute how much I hate this planet and how useless my life is and how I'm never going to get anywhere, and how I'm a worthless rotten person, etc. You know the drill. Anyway, yep, the Big Z keeps all of that somewhere around a foot and a half to my right, just barely out of my peripheral vision. It's nice. I love it. I may never stop. No, I don't have a problem. I can stop anytime I want to. Really. I could stop right now it I wanted to. Also: Masks. Will write more about them later. My lunch is up and I have to go and check my gel.
More lies:
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